Primitus
by DanH2010
Summary: One shot. Danny POV. Summary on the chapter


**Primitus**

**Hi all, this is one shot and it is all Danny POV. It's basically some of Danny's firsts. (Primitus is Latin for first) this is short and snappy as I work nights now and those hours aren't conducive to writing :/ This is not AU at all…..**

**Anyhoo, let's begin!**

(X)

One of my earliest memories is when I'm about five, I was at the beach with my mum and dad and the sun was hot and warming my skin. In my mind I remember looking out to sea, across the rolling waves, past the cloudless sky out into the distance imagining that I can see the whole world. I remember wanting to build a raft and sailing to distant shores. I dreamt of battling pirates with peg legs and I do as I dance around in the foam with my sword in hand. The whole world is mine! My sword cuts through the air as I venture further and deeper into the sea jumping over the waves seeing sharks, octopus and squid.

Lost in play I don't see a man approach me until he grasps my hand gently. I look up and my father is stood there looking down on me. He's smiling full of fun and I know we'll battle together. I feel stronger when he is here, braver too as he tugs my hand and we head into deeper water.

(X)

There are so many memories I have after that one, some of them happy at that same beach or other places. Happy times with my family and friends, starting Uni or getting my first job. Other times aren't so joyful, losing my mother and the man I used to worship walking out on us when we needed him most. I start to smile when I remember my first kiss with my first real girlfriend. I was a shy kid, not really that good at talking to girls. I'd start to stammer and they'd laugh at me. There was this one special girl, she didn't, when I began to stammer she simply told me to calm down, think for a minute then begin. I think she had me from that moment. She made me laugh, she put me at ease and from that moment on she was all I could think about. I knew she was something else as soon as I saw her and my intuition was proved to be right. There were times I was scared and tried to run before I lost my heart but she soon had me back, I was drawn to her I'd never been in love before, when she took my hand I knew it was all over.

(X)

The year passed quickly for us, she loved me and I loved her. We married with dreams including a perfect house and at least 2 children. One night I lay beside her and without warning she grasped my hand and placed it over her slightly swollen stomach.

"There." She whispered it the darkness. "Can you feel it?"

And for the first time I could, in the dark of night, only our soft breathing breaking the hush I could feel a gentle fluttering under my fingertips. It became real in that moment; I was going to be a dad. I lay there all night with my hand on her stomach just wanting to relive it for one more second.

(X)

Our daughter was born and the clock ticked by so fast. Too fast. We had our ups and downs like all couples do and at times I didn't think we'd be able to get through it. Our daughter made us strong though and we fought for the marriage we both dreamed of in the start. We watched our child grow and planned a long life together until one day my world came crashing down, we sat at the table and she grasped my hand.

"I'm not well." She said. "I only have a couple of months."

I didn't want to believe her but a trip to the doctors confirmed my fears. This wasn't supposed to happen; we were supposed to grow old together! As the days passed the illness got progressively worse, she lost weight growing frailer by the day it seemed.

One morning I sat beside her holding her hand, willing her silently to find a way to get better, to not leave us. Her grip loosened slowly and I didn't want to look to see the truth. As long as I held her hand and kept my head down she was still with me. Eventually I forced myself to look at her and the first time in so long she looked to be at peace. No pain filled her features, no torment or agony, just contentment. I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed it one gently before placing it back down, my own hands now empty.

(X)

And here we are, back at that beach where I battled pirates, here I am looking out to sea. The long ago childhood fantasy now a distant memory. My wife has been buried a few months now and I brought my daughter Rosie here to play. I look down at her and smile faintly, I wish vainly that I could protect her from the pain that adult hood would bring to her, wishing that I could save for her only the good that the world could give.

Rosie was playing in the sea smiling and laughing as she spun. I sighed and move closer to her. When I reach her I bend down to pick her up and she looks up at me with the biggest smile. I press a soft kiss to her soft brown hair and adjust her so she is more comfortable in my arms. For the first time I'm not alone anymore and together we head out into deeper water.

**A/N This fic was very nearly called deeper waters; I was feeling philosophical at the time AND I do like my metaphors but changed my mind as you do. Not very good but alas writers block is doing my head in, sleep deprivation does that to you  
Just in case you are wondering he is not thinking about Sarah or Alice but Miranda. Hope you enjoyed x**


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